f Notes from the Underground: 5/9/10 - 5/16/10
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Saturday, May 15, 2010

faiz.




Dono jahaan teri muhabbat main haar ke; Voh jaa rahaa hai koi shab-e-gam guzaar ke

Veeran hai maykada, khum-o-saagar udaas hai; Tum kyaa gaye ke rooth gaye din bahaar ke

Ek phursat-e-gunah milee, voh bhi chaar din; Dekhe hain humne housle parvardigaar ke

Duniya ne teri yaad se begaana kar diyaa; Tujshe bhi dil-fareb hai, gam rozgaar ke

Bhoole se muskara to diye the voh aaj “faiz”; Mat poocho valvale dil-e-nakardaa kaar ke

shadow of my soul

Before nervous breakdown sets in, I feel I must wash mi hands. Hardly anything of value to write but if I'm messed up enough to be 'here' then...so be it. If I understand correctly, I hardly want to write abhi. You see, laying words on paper is a craft; expression comes from the mind not from the soul but what is expressed is conceived by the soul, or the proverbial heart. Right now, mi soul is having a hard tyme staying in the container of mi body; it has lost its shadow and now it wants to break out of me and claim it back.

Is that really my soul? It could be an empty stomach. Nah! Something is trying to breakaway from me; I can feel my skin stretched, the organs out of place, my mind about to - not explode, but - melt. I reckon I should think on a tangent.

The expression 'mi lady' does not imply possession. Of what I know I can tell, it was a novel set in late 1700s. 'mi lady' is equivalent to say... ah! that's the word: 'mi lord' - now, no one will argue 'mi lord' implies possession and submission. 'mi lady', the term, was used by chauffeurs, men in staff and general public when addressing their countess/dutchess - any noble lady. They could've hardly implied possession without the risk of getting their heads chopped of.  The term is an expression of respect and high esteem. I'm not a linguist, or a historian, but I think the use of this term was completely abolished only after the Feminist Movement. I strongly suggest that no reader use this detailing of 'mi lady' for academic purposes; what I write here is hardly ever thought through and never researched.   

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Infighting in All Hundred and Forty-Seven Armies

Once on the last day of some century during those millennia of war, there broke infighting among Lieutenant's men. It was not serious enough to think that there was any danger of division among his men but he still took precautions to ensure unity and brotherhood, at least in the battlefield. He believed that his men  were capable of selfless feats when presented with a choice to sacrifice themselves and save a fellow soldier; there infighting was more a result of their anxiety over the plague of war. Lieutenant understood them. Combined all armies fighting the millennia of war did not have more than a handful of soldiers like the lieutenant himself, in fact only the commandants on the one hundred and forty-seven sides shared his clay.

Lieutenant was gossiping with his best soldiers, in fact he was entertaining his men with concocted stories about highly imaginative virgins who had surrendered themselves to Lieutenant – always somewhere equally fantastic and majestic. His men knew but were so wholly dependent on these sessions with their superior for lightness of heart that they never questioned or corrected him. Lieutenant was creating something picturesque with a quiet waterfall surrounded by dense forests of Niguana – no one reminded him that Niguana was a small patch of sub-tropical desert.

‘Every lip tastes different.” Lieutenant said as he licked his own lips with the tip of his coarse tongue.